The toughest mental race ever.
First lap felt excellent. I knew the trails, I really enjoy the SnowBasin area, I heard a bunch of cheers from people I knew including Krank Munkys Darlene, Skyline Kyle, and Ryan at Dans run. I executed my first lap pretty well although the first climb portion was a bit slow due to traffic. The rest of the time I positioned myself properly when it mattered to try to have clear downhills so I could fly. On the road section near the end of the first lap I realized I was in a good place to hold on to my 7:00 goal. I stopped at my cooler for drink and food refills after 3:23 in the saddle, and the second lap is shorter. Nice.
At the very start of the second lap it all changed. I mentally broke down. I was on the dirt road just above the resort, not one mile into the second lap and wanted to quit. I was not interested in this lap one bit. UMB Michael passed me and tried to be friendly but I nearly bit his head off.
I spent the rest of that 10 mile climb barely trying, stopping, thinking, and talking myself into just continuing. It was pathetic. I self-diagnosed the whole time trying to figure out what's wrong: legs felt pretty damn good given I had already ridden over 30 miles, heart rate was low, what then? I did notice my nose was leaking all day. Usually I start a race with a runny nose when it's cold but it's a cleansing behavior and shuts off quickly. This time I had a runny nose all day, and when I coughed I felt sinus pressure. I just had no energy. It is possible I had a cold or fever but I think my problem was in my head. No desire. No ambition. No drive.
The climb from the resort to the top of Dans took 25 minutes longer on my second lap. But I made it. I had a bunch of mental fights to get there, and I knew one last fight was coming at the top of the Maples trailhead. I tried to enjoy the downhill from Dans to the resort again but found myself focusing quite hard just to avoid mistakes. I made a few on the way but stayed upright so that was a victory.
By the time I hit the Maples feed zone I felt pretty good about finishing. Then I stopped to get my bottle. Then I started thinking again. Why do I need to do that damn East Fork climb again? I already rode over 50 miles, that's good enough. One of the spectators tried to cheer me on and I nearly bit his head off too. Not nice. Sorry dude, and thanx for your help :S
After feeling bad about being rude to someone helpful I decided to just get it done.
Being a bit of a crazy downhiller I passed at least one person, maybe a few more. I made it to Wheeler where I asked for water on my back at the feed zone and was sprayed by Skyline Kyle with his geigerrigthingy. In my mind the only demon I had left was the East Fork climb which I had conquered in about 20 minutes in a previous training ride so that equated to a 20 minute effort that I needed. I can do 20 minutes and be done.
So the climb was pretty decent, and I was surprised that not many people passed me. I actually passed one or two (kinda delirious by then). Then came the Middle Fork descent where I realized that my bike wasn't going to give me perfect day. It decided to snap the front shifter cable, so I was left with just small gears for the descent. Tolerable.
The road comes, I know one of the guys I passed on the descent had passed me on previous climbs a few times today but I tried my best not to let him pass. I succeeded, although some other guy passed me just 1/2 mile from the finish, patted my ass, and told me "tag, you're it, come on!" Nice. But I was already going. Didn't feel like I had anymore. Although I tried to get him back on the parking lot section but just didn't have it.
The sad, desolated finish line comes. It appeared for most of the second lap as I was the last person on the trail and the finish line felt the same until I heard a bunch of people cheering right at the end. Turns out Krank Munkys and Vanessa were there patiently awaiting mine and Luis' finish. Way cool.
I finished 62 miles with over 9000 feet of climbing in 6 hours 50 minutes according to Milliseconds official race timing and 6:44 according to Strava. I'll take it.
And because I'm me I wonder how much faster I would have been had I not mentally cracked.
